Tired of feeling frustrated every time you check your online dating sites and apps? Either your dating profile sucks , or your photos do. And if you're not that hot, don't worry — keep reading for how to be magnetic and irresistible to women, no matter what you look like. If she has a bad impression of you from the start, she's not clicking on your profile or responding to your message.
The secret lies in evolution — that's right, we're talking Darwin, survival of the fittest, alpha male theory. Biologically speaking, alpha males are desirable mates, so you want to subconsciously convey your alpha status in your photos.
Here's an example — let's say you play basketball. And action shots make awesome profile pictures for guys, by the way. In a single photograph you communicate that you're athletic and part of a social group, two highly desirable traits.
Once you connect your Facebook profile to the app and fill out your profile height; engagement in smoking, drinking, drugs; ideal last meal; first kiss; etc. It seems restrictive, but Elite Singles is so confident with their intelligent matching system that they do all the hard work for you. Jdate and JSwipe: Something like this would work great:. Attractive photos will get her swiping right, checking out your profile, and responding to your message.
But it can't be just any basketball picture. The best online dating profile pictures feature you as the center of attention — you're making a slam dunk, catching the ball, or in control of it. Get the idea? You're the captain of the ship, the one in the driver's seat, the guy making the toast… you get the idea. Dan Ariely , a researcher in behavioral economics, did a simple experiment to prove that giving someone a slightly worse option makes you appear more attractive.
When presented with only two options, Tom and Jerry were evenly matched in the looks department. But when Ariely provided an ugly version of Tom in the photo lineup, suddenly Tom was rated as more attractive. The moral of the story? You should always be the only person in your main pic. A lot of guys mistakenly think that including a group shot is mandatory, because it makes them look more social and outgoing.
Most group photos fail on one or both of those fronts, and it ends up working against you in the long run because it actually lowers your perceived attractiveness. Remember, this is all about letting her imagine a lifestyle. Many women looking for a mature, established man want to know you can hang at a company event or cocktail party. A picture of you dressed nicely at a rooftop bar, a restaurant on the beach, or a yacht could have the same effect.
Anyone can look good once, right? You want to convey that you look this good all the time. If you're lucky enough to be a guy in his early 20s, good news — you can skip the suit shot — it might actually hurt your chances by making you seem too serious or even uptight.
Yup, you want to be interesting. Everyone has hobbies, so pictures of you doing something you enjoy are a great idea. But make sure the photo doesn't look faked. They go camping. They go hunting and fishing.
They own the dance floor. If you enjoy cooking, that's an interesting thing to showcase — unless of course, the kitchen in the background is a disaster area. No one wants to be with a slob. You also want to highlight multiple facets of your personality, so choose a range of photos. Pro photos can be a great investment. After all, a pro photographer with an expensive camera knows how to manipulate the lighting, help you pose in a natural way that doesn't look forced, and generally bring out your best qualities.
Basically, a pro will make you look better than your buddy with an iPhone ever could. This means no studio shots with you posing in front of an obvious backdrop. Chappy is relatively small and young in app terms, so don't expect the overpopulated dating pool you might find on Grindr or Scruff. The app requires users to have Facebook for verification purposes, so it won't work for those who've rightfully abandoned the platform. You're disproportionately likely to find people like this on the app. Chappy is free to download, though as their user base grows, so too might potential in-app purchases.
Best for inclusivity.
A-List Basic: Yes A-List Premium: It would be great if someone developed more queer- and trans-specific dating apps. It's also not likely to happen anytime soon, due to the scale of investment required and the audience served. Dating apps need lots and lots of users to be successful, and with Tinder and OkCupid already sort of serving the community, I don't expect new ones to make major inroads anytime soon.
However, OkCupid was impressively much faster than other apps to expand their orientation and gender identity options. In , OkCupid began offering their users more than a dozen different ways to identify. The app currently offers users 22 different genders and 13 orientations to choose from, and also includes helpful descriptions of each for folks who are unfamiliar with this kind of stuff. And unlike Tinder, OkCupid gives so much more room for people to write profiles, answer questions, and explain their possibly questionable worldview. While it's impossible for the app to screen out all the haters, you can get a decent sense of user's views on trans and queer people and whether they're gonna be an asshole because you love cable TV.
It's free to download, but you'll have to pay to enjoy their Premium A-list features. If you want more people to see your profile, you can pay to have it promoted like you would on Twitter. OkCupid also collects really interesting data about users on their OkCupid blog. Sure, some of their data collection services might be a wee bit invasive, but I'm not aware of any services that aren't.
Best specifically for gay men. Grindr Grindr is a classic choice for gay men who want a ton of options, very little small talk, and instant meet-up opportunities. Grindr brands itself as the world's largest dating app for gay men as well as queer and trans people. With a dearth of functional trans-specific dating apps on the market, it's no wonder the app attracts a sizable segment of this population. Grindr lacks the boundaries other apps provide, so don't be surprised if people you haven't liked on the app message you. The app isn't exactly known for it's, uh, lovely and harmonious conservations about race , either.
Still, it's a blockbuster app with a diverse dating pool. The company has conducted some pretty illuminating research about its international user base.
Online dating is hard. These sites and apps will give you a bit of a boost. Gay dating apps are plentiful, but which are the best? Grindr is a classic choice for gay men who want a ton of options, very little small talk, and instant meet-up.
Added bonus: Like most apps, Grindr is free to download but also offers additional features through its subscription service. Grindr is more than just dick pics, but it's also definitely dick pics.
Most easy to use. The Good. Zoosk Super easy to use: Just sign up with your existing Facebook account and the site populates your likes, photos, and more. Free version: Yes 1-month: For men who have busy lives, Zoosk is the dating site of choice because of its ease of use and fast sign up. The dating site touts an enormous amount of users, with more than 35 million members in 80 countries from around the world.
Zoosk is also great for single men because there are more single women using the site. How it works: If you have a "type," then Zoosk will pick up on it and try to give you more matches that fit your characteristics in your area. However, the dating site is full of dead and inactive accounts that might make it difficult to find someone real. Zoosk is really easy to use. You just sign up with your existing Facebook account and the dating site populates your likes, personality, and photos so all you have to do is match with potential lovers.
Sign up for Zoosk here. Best for hooking up. AdultFriendFinder Just looking to get laid or get off? AdultFriendFinder is where you want to be.